(Source: greyjoyss, via allonsyluv)

“Oh no, I think you hit your dick.”

(Source: bokayjunkie)

(Source: summerroberts)

jasonmorgans:

Clyde: Holy shit, wait a second. Hold up, you’re not an actress, are you?
Doug: [in a British accent] Well, I mean, not primarily, but… a little bit, yeah.
Clyde: Oh, my god. That accent, it’s amazing.
Doug: Thank you. It’s from the Midlands.
Clyde: It’s perfect. There’s this role — it’s sensitive, selfless, former drug addict — it’s like Ghandi, meets Little Mermaid, meets The Notebook, vagina vagina vagina vagina. You know what?
Doug: What?
Clyde: We should get dinner and talk about it.
Doug: I don’t know, I —
Clyde: But fuck, I’m goin’ to Istanbul tomorrow, I help all those homeless kittens find whiskers!
[Marty & Jeannie groan disappointedly]
Doug: Push it back.
Marty: They gotta be saved!
Clyde: They gotta be saved, I’m so sorry. I can’t.
Marty: Don’t let it be over!
Clyde: But it’s not over.
Doug: It’s not?
Clyde: No. How ‘bout this. Why don’t you just come to my suite tonight, Le Meritage.
Doug: I don’t know, it’s all moving so fast.
Clyde: It’s a safe space, I promise you. We’ll just look at each other, we’ll laugh, we’ll talk about things.
Doug: I love to laugh.
Clyde: This role is so you. I mean, I can feel it in my heart. And I know that Amelia —
Doug: Wait, who’s Amelia?
Marty & Jeannie: Sister.
Doug: Sister, I’m sorry.
Clyde: Oh, my god. I can’t believe it. She’s here right now. She’s saying yes. Yes, she’s saying yes.
Doug: Yes.
Clyde: Yes! You said yes originally and that is why I take money… and he felt a little hard, by the way.
Marty: I’m hard.
Jeannie: So am I.

(via hostradamus)

Doug: [Cat Deeley] patted my balls. God, i just love her so much.
Clive: It’s gonna be okay. Show me where she patted you. 

(Source: janeyoucrazy, via janine-restrepo)

(Source: stetko, via echofades)